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                           Irish slang



Acting the maggot
Behaving in a manner indicative of a lack of seriousness
from Stepo in Kildare
"Lads, I'll break your faces if ye don't stop acting the cunting maggots you little fuckin' arsehole cunts."

"Fuck me lads, my arse is like the back of Batman's car after that Guinness last night."

Arsing around
The act of being lazy
from Sweep in Israel
"See that lazy little fuckstick up there? If he doesn't stop arsing around with those fucking slates I'll climb up there and fuck him off the roof myself."

Ass juice
from Eamon in New Ross
"The symptoms? Well my sphincter is twitching like a fucking jumping bean and I've got ass juice running down my leg."


Back doors kicked in
The act of anally raping a man
from Bmctyrone in Teesside
"The three of 'em came in the showers, officer. All oiled up like. They kicked me fuckin' back doors in."

Bag o' Swhag
Very Good
from Jonny H in Armagh
"That blowjob was a bag o' swhag, love. Now clean the floor there, will ye?"

Baker Street
The only London train station where you can change from the pink line to the brown line
from Sam in Co. Donegal
"Last night? Yeah, Aunt Flo was around so I changed at Baker Street."

Rubbish. Crap.
from Nigel in Longford
"The internet, eh? Load of focking ballsch."

A (generally irreversable) state of disrepair
"You can't even drive you contemptible harpy! The fucking car is banjaxed!"

The part of a man's body between his balls and arse
from Paul in Co. Down
"She had a face like my dead uncle's barse."

Alarmingly unattractive (as in 'bet with the ugly stick')
from Derek in Co. Waterford
"Bet? Lads, I'm not exaggerating when I say she has a head like a melted wheelie bin. I almost got sick."

Face (rhyming slang from 'boat race')
from shodda in d6
"Why? Because you've a boat on you like a fuckin' bag of dead rats."

Body off Baywatch, Face off Crimewatch
A woman with aesthetically pleasing physical proportions and a disproportionately unattractive face.
from Shane in Galway
"That Glenda Gilson has a body off Baywatch, and a fucking face off Crimewatch! The dirty rat bastard bitch."

Person from the Countryside
from Susan in Waterford
"The thick cunt dragged an acre of shit into the shop with him, that's fucking boggers for you."

Bombay Shitehawk
General colourful insult
from Joe in Eyeorland
"Get up the yard, ya bombay shitehawk!"

Boxed off
Sorted. Arranged satisfactorily.
from Paud in Waterford
"After the shit, shave and shower I felt totally boxed off."


from Garzo The Tart in The Backend of Me Bollix
"Oh ballbags. I've just passed a motion into me cacks. Please take me to Dunnes post haste so that I can procure a new pair."

from Amo in Newry, Co Down
"Did ye see that film on the telly last night? Twas feckin' cla wa'nt it?"

from Nick in Co. Derry
"Jesus, love. Call an ambulance for fuck's sake. You're after tearing the clackers off me."

Clatter in the jaw
A punch in the face
from Edel, Bernie and Thomas in Lille
"I will give ye a clatter in the jaw and a mug of warm badger milk if ye dont behave, ye dirty cunt"

from Peg on the Nose in Rural Ireland
"There's a fierce Clonmel off yer one."

An aesthetically deficient individual
from Tom Gleeson in Dublin North
"Who? Cocknose over there? He's got a face like a bag of camel's tits. "

Small, sherical fecal matter
from Peter in Co. Louth
"Don't go in there for ten minutes lads. The cosbies were in a car crash"

Crafty Butcher
Homosexual (likes his meat round the back door)
from bmctyrone in Teesside
"If the crafty butcher there at the bar looks at me again, I'll spark the daft cunt."

Mythical (alcohol related) Irish phenomenon. The act of being drunk.
"Oh jaysus, it was gas craic!"

Creamed out of it
The act of being seriously injured, particularly when partaking in a sporting event
from Shoobus in Teddy's anus
"We used to pass the ball out to Stormin' Norman and the poor cunt always got creamed out of it"

Cunt butter
The butter that spurts from a woman's womble (also 'Fanny batter')
from Beard and Jo in the Gar
"I flicked her bean like Jimi Hendrix played his banjo and the dirty bitch soaked me face in cunt butter."

Cute Hoor
Someone who quietly has one up on everyone
from Tom in Galway
"He's some cute hoor alright, didn't buy a pint all night and went home seein' triple."


"Stop fuckin' with that lightbulb, da."

Large Teeth
from allan farrell in dublin
"Some set of delph on her, she could eat an apple through a letterbox"

Little balls of shite that form on anal hair. (also 'Dangleberries', 'Wilnots')
from Andy in Montreal, Canada
"Your trunks are leapin' wi' dingleberrys."

Unpleasant character. Scumbag.
from Shoe
"That fella over there in Dr. Quirky's Fun Time Emporium is some fucking dirtball"

Something which is difficult to endure
from Paud in Wateford
"Having my entire family die in the same week was a fucking dose."

Double Bagger
A physically toned woman with disproportionately unattractive facial features (a bag for their head and one for yours, just in case)
from Edwina
"Jesus, you pulled some fucking double bagger last night, she had a face on her that would drive rats from a barn"


Someone of reduced intellectual capacity (also 'Gobshite')
"You're an awful fuckin' eeijet da."


Fair Play
Commendable behaviour
"Did you see him box Tubridy's fucking jaw for him? Fair play."

Fanny Fart
Trapped wind released from the vagina. a queef.
from Dylan in The Park, Cabinteeley
"I was about to perform cunnilingus on my wife when the vile harpy left off a rather mistimed fanny fart. Needless to say her giblets remained uneaten."

A transexual
from weghs in dfshfrui
"That one off Tellybingo is some fuckin' fannyballs."

The act of sexual intercourse
from Victoria in galway
"I'd feak the box off her"


Fizzy Bumming
Inserting ecstacy tablets into your anus
from al in dublin
"Will you sign our petition to stop John Brady fizzy bumming?"

"God, I was flaming last night. I'm sick as a little hospital today."

Vagina (also 'Minge', 'Gee')
from Larry Garry in Your Rectum
"Oooooh keep goin' Jeremy, that's proper nice. Ye make me flange tingle!"

Flatley, do a
To cut cocaine with other substances
from J in Bray
"Jaysus he's done a flatley with this shit, he's fuckin' danced all over it."

Flatten me
Engage me in sexual intercourse
from dave in Castleknock
"Sheamus, you little fuck, when you've finished fucking around with the VCR, take me out to the pier and fucking flatten me."

"Anyone got the number of an Ambulance lads? She's after nearly pullin' the flute off me."

Fuck Face
A person who behaves in an unfavorable manner
from Debbie in Carlow
"Get your fucking hand out of my fucking Hula Hoops fuck face."

The absolute lowest of the low; a total waste (can of course be used in friendly circumstances)
from bop in me fathers flute
"Goodnight fuckholes"

Fuck's Sake
Expression of Frustration
from Dave da Rave in Somewhere
"Hold on, love, for fuck's sake. I'm almost at the vinegar strokes."

Someone who is generally disagreeable
from Lisa in Derry
"Jeremy Clarkson is such a fucking pompous, oversized cunt-headed, fucking arsehole cunt fuckwit."

Fun bags
Large breasts
from Lola H in north dublin
"Jesus, the fun bags on her. She could breastfeed a feckin' creche."



from Adam in The Stones
"I'm actually going to knock the cunt's gaff down with a fucking hammer."

from Sinead in Dublin
"What the fuck are ya looking at? I'll tear the gee off ya if ya don't fuck off"

Unpopular female (rhymes with 'teabag')
"...and his mother? Talk about a fucking geebag."

Get yer oats
To engage in sexual intercourse
from Amo in Newry Co Down
"For the love of God man, will you fuck off out and get yer oats!?"

Female genitals
from Damo in Co. Limerick
"Just pulled a cracker lads, going back home now to ate the gibblets off her."

Exclamation of disapproval at anyone or anything
from Kev in Eire
"Get outta the way you fecking gobshite!!"

Grease flaps
A woman's moist vaginal doors (also 'Beef Curtains')
from the Beard and Jo in the Gar
"Despite my best efforts, her grease flaps kept making my knob hit the sheets."

A grubby and generally unkempt vaginal area
from Steve in out fareign
"I was about to ride the face off her when I saw her big dirty growler and puked me ring."

A dirty itinerent
from loren greenpeace in battle star gattoxcake.
"Smell of burnt sticks off that thieving gyppo fuck what just stole your dog."


High falutin
Having delusions of grandeur
from Dermot in Dublin
"Pat Kenny is some high falutin prick, look at the fuckin' hair on him."

"That Guinness is after cuttin' the hole off me."

"That curry last night is after nearly blowing the hoop off me"

Horned up
To really like something (though not necessarily sexual)
from Sweep
"I'm horned up with the new fella, the massive flute on him."

Horse it in
To be sexually ravaged
from Kootie Kat in Dublin/Buenos Aires
"Quit the fancy stuff there, Don Juan and just fuckin' horse it into me!"

How Bad
Good, deadly.
from Taybag in Waterford
"All these presents are for me? How fucking bad."


"Jaysus, I just destroyed the jacks. There's porcelain everywhere."

Jap's Eye
Male urethral opening
from Job in Waterford
"Back in '82 he was just a twinkle in his father's Jap's Eye"

An expression of disbelief or despair
"Jaysus! I wouldn't touch her if I had a truck full of mickeys"

Male prophylactic
"Shhh, lads - she's gagging for it - does anyone have a johnny?"


Member of the travelling community. People who shop in Lifestyle Sports.
"Thieving, thieving fuckin' actual dirtball knackers."

Homosexual (also 'Arsebandit')
"He didn't get anywhere with her, the fuckin' knobjockey."

A sexually transmitted infection
"Jesus sufferin' fuck, that one the other night has left with me a serious dose of knobrot. Look at the colour of it!"

Knock the hole off
To have intercourse with
from Dermot in Dublin
"Fuck it, I'll knock the hole off her."


from Eoin in Co. Cork
"I'm after gluing my lad to my fuckin' leg again ma. Call an ambulance."

Lamp it into to me boss
Make love to me at your next convenience
from Bobby Kennatoni in Palermo
"Ah jaysus, me pissflaps are burnin' with desire loike, quit pricking around and lamp it into me boss!"

Male genitals. Colourful insult.
from Owen in Co. Cork
"I moved her knickers to the side last night and now I've only got half of a fucking langer."

Someone with whom you would like to engage in sexual intercourse
from Niamh in Dublin
"There's some load of lashes on Grafton Street lads, fuck me."

Female of the species (also 'Bird')
"My knobs going to atrophy and fucking fall off I don't get a loosebit tonight."


Mad ouva
To be out of one's head (Mad out of it)
from charles in dublin town
"Continually inhaling bronson into my nostrils the other night resulted in me being mad ouva."

The act of purloining peoples drinks at a social gathering (because the commentary goes ''that's mine, that's mine, that's mine'')
from Linda in Rathmines
"Was caught minesweeping by a rather burly gentleman last night. He boxed me on my fucking nose."

A lady's part
from Conor in Dublin
"I was going down on her, but couldn't get past her minge - 'twas like gettin stuck in a hedge!"

Displeasing to the eye (also 'Manky'). Unclean.. Smelly.
"Mingin'? If I'd a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't let her look over the wall"

Mongo Sap
Someone who doesn't know whether he's comin' or goin after a two day pill fest
from Rob and Dean in Cabinteely
"Get out of me ma's knicker drawer ye fuckin' mongo sap!"

Someone from outside Dublin (also 'Mucker', 'Cluchie', 'Bogwarrior')
from Lorraine in Dublin
"God, the mucksavages on You're a Star. What a fucking national embarassment."


from Susan in Waterford

Nappy Arwshe
A filthy big bum
from A lady in Lady places
"Jeez, d'ya see the big nappy arwshe on yer one?"

a fool
from Sweep
"That fella is a serious neddy, he'd annoy Pat Kenny's hole, the prick."

Not worth a shite
Of no practical value
from Jay in Longford
"Pat Kenny? Sure he's not worth a shite, the fuckin' useless prick."

Nut custard
from Graham in Waterford
"Lord Jesus, the poor girl was covered in nut custard."


On de Ball
Well done
from Fox in Waterford
"Is this my cuppa? Nice one, on de ball yung fla."

On thee job
Fucking your wife
from Forty Pound Piss Flaps in Grizzly bear stanky
"Frankie wasn't sick today, Chip. He was home on thee job."

Woman (also 'Wan')
"Jesus, did you see yer one? I'd crawl a million miles across broken glass to kiss the exhaust of the van that took her dirty knickers to the laundry."


Tramp or gypsey (also 'Gyppo', 'Knacker' or 'Thieving, thieving fuck')
from Amo in Newry Co Down
"You and your fucking stinking family can fuck off away from my roof slates, ya fuckin' Padjo!"

Gentleman's tadger (also 'John Thomas', 'Flute', 'Langer', 'Bobby Dangler', 'Pork Sword')
from Conor in Dublin
"Tell me, young waif, would you be prepared to touch my pego for sixpence?"

Pie Retention
The act of gaining weight
"Water retention is it, love? More like fucking pie retention."

A Member of the Travelling Community
from Nat in Dublin
"Get a job, ye fuckin' pikey!"

from rob and conor in enniskerry
"Yer one's after suckin' the pipe off me in an aisle in fucking Xtravision, the little harpy."

Piss Artist
"I know he's your da, but he's a useless fuckin' piss artist. Where do you think your communion money went?"

The outer lips of the vulva or the vagina
from Steve in Co. Longford
"I was ridin' the bird last night and her pissflaps nearly tore the flute off me. It's fucking killing me."

Inebriated (also 'Gee-eyed', 'Polluted', 'Rotton', 'Hammered', 'Pissed', 'Shitfaced')
"I was plastered for fuck's sake. I'll buy you a new one."

from Peter in Co. Louth
"May your plums turn square and fester at each corner, ye cunt."

from Adam in The Stones
"Were you in that gaff last night? Twas feckin' pony... "

Poof Juice
Alcoholic beverages consumed by a gentleman that are not Guinness or beer based. (e.g Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff Ice, Budweiser)
from Conor in Co. Down
"He's really lashing into the poof juice there. What a fucking embarassment."

Pooh Bay, dropping anchor in
To engage in backdoor sexual activity
from The Nal in Dublin
"I got bored in the pink so I dropped anchor in Pooh Bay."


from Garzo the Tart in The backend of me bollix
"Fuck me lads, I just did a ratbark that would drive a funeral up an alleyway"

To have sexual intercourse
from Mars bar in Dublin
"I'd rattle her kidneys with me budgin' if I wasn't so gee-eyed."

Relax The Cacks
Calm down
from Johnny B in Dublin 9, Ireland
"Relax the cacks, a bit of Sudocreme and that rash'll clear up in no time."

To engage in Sexual Intercourse (also 'Shag')
"I suppose a ride's outta the question?"
"Wha' do ya mean 'do I love ya', amen't I riding ya?"

from The Drummer in Kildare
"But it's me borthdey, love. Can I not have a go on your ring?"

Ring splitter
Someone who engages in anal sex
from Donal in Co. Meath
"Fifty euros says the fella in the pink hotpants is a ring splitter."

Anus. the greatest word in the English language.
from Johnny in Navan Road
"She was walking like John Wayne after I lashed the ringpiece off her, the dirty cow."

Thin, wispy moustache cultivated by scumbags
from Poppa Joe in Dublin
"He was about 6 foot tall, with a ronnie that looked like someone shat on his fucking lip."

The act of particularly jarring doggystyle sex
from Jason in Waterford
"Sorry lads, but I'd root the hole off that Carol Vorderman, there I've said it."

Good Looking Young Lady
from Dave Fields in North Dublin
"That chick is a fuckin' rosspot, I'd knock the arse off her!"

Rusty Trumpet
Licking a gentleman's arsehole while manually stimulating his penis
from Johner in Dublin
"Here love, any danger of a rusty trumpet after EastEnders?"


A young lady of loose moral character (from Mustang Sally, because 'all she wants to do is ride')
from Sionnach in La Gar
"I left that sally from earlier with a face like a painter's radio."

Hot tea or coffee
from Gerro in Ahascragh (West of Ireland)
"Any chance of a cup of scaldy there young lad?"

Pints (generally of stout)
from Smashface in Monty Carlow
"Where's Byrne? It's his twist for the scoops, the tight fecker!"

A very small amount
"I haven't even got a screed of dope there boss, it's like feckin' hen's teeth these days."

Embarrassed (also 'Rednered', 'Scarleh')
from Andy in Montreal, Canada
"I shit me pants and was scundered for a hundred."

Male briefs or boxers
from Dave and Johnny in Castleknock
"Fuck me lads, the missus got me these fancy new scunders and they're tearin' the bollix off me."

To have sexual relations with a lady
from James in Co. Antrim
"Jaysus, I gave yer wan an awful scuttling last night. She's walking like John Wayne."

Shit the Bed
Expression of surprise or disbelief
from Rory in Dublin
"Shit the bed, that goddess I brought home last night has been kidnapped and replaced with a fuckin' swamp donkey."

"Will you don't be listening to that fella. He's full of shite."

Shite bag
A disagreeable individual
from Dermot in Dublin
"Ryan Tubridy? The man is a complete shite bag"

Anyone unpleasant or untrustworthy
from Shane K in Ballymore, Westmeath
"Spar and Centra? Don't trust them shower of robbin' shitehawk bastards."

To leave a social engagement without telling anyone (often due to inebriation)
from Jabe
"He was up at the bar one minute and gone the next. Must have shlunked."

Sickens my Cock
Completely disagreeable
from shod in d6
"Waiting for fucking auld ones to count their fucking change in a shop sickens my cock."

Simon's Trousers, pair of
A bulbous posterior. Big nappy arse.
from Fred in Tullow
"Jesus that Roisin Ingle one off the Irish Times has an awful pair of Simon's trousers on her."

Masturbating the morning after over a women you saw the night before
from Andy M in Portmarnock
"Jesus, did ya see that Glenda Gilson one on the telly last night? I pulled the skagdick off meself."

A person whom should not be engaged in conversation. (also 'Knacker', 'Scobie wan', 'Scobe', 'Tinker', 'Scumbag', 'Shambo')
from Aido in Ballymun
"Jaysus, will ya look at the two skangers on that horse. Fuckin' scumbags."

During intercourse when your foreskin goes too far back
from Gerro in Ahascragh (West of Ireland)
"Did ya get the bock last night? Damn right, skimbock all the way."

The act of courting the facially challenged at the end of a drunken night
from Smash-face in Carlow
"Easy with the skimming lads, trolls like those could give you a terrible dose of knob rot."

Suffering from financial difficulties
"Jesus, I'm skint after those fuckin' hookers last night"

Sky Pilot
General colourful insult.
from Karl in Dublin
"On your bike, ya fuckin' sky pilot!"

An easy lay
from Alistair in Co. Down
"I'm sorry to tell ya lads, but I've a pair of balls on me like two cunting coconuts. It's slappers all the way tonight."

Birth control pills
from Sam in Co. Donegal
"Yeah, he's one today. Silly cow wasn't on the Smarties."

It's me
from Erin in not too far away
"Jaysus, smee ya fuckin' steamboat!"

Spare arse
A female of loose moral fibre
from Collie in Vancouver
"Well holy God, lads. There's spare arse as far as the eye can see."

A woman of low moral standing
from dave in castleknock
"Jaysus, yer one is a serious fuckin' spunkskip, she'd get up on a low flyin' pigeon."

Stall the Ball
Wait a Moment (see also 'Hold on, for fuck's sake.')
from Baz in Waterford
"Stall the ball lads. It looks like yer one's gonna box herself off with that hurley."

Seriously Enibriated
from Andy in Montreal, Canada
"Look at yer man. He's fuckin steamboats!"

Streak Of Piss
A tall, skinny person
from J in Bray
"That Ryan Tubridy is some big eared personality vacuum of an interrupting streak of piss."

Super Fucking Double Bollocks
Being under more stress than that caused by a singular bollocks
from Les in Dublin
"Super fucking double bollocks!"

Swiss, the
Hole (from 'Swiss Roll')
from The Nal in Dublin
"The place was a pain in the swiss. It was noisier than a skeleton wanking on a tin roof."


Someone who is both intellectually challenged and lazy
from Carabumble in North Dublin
"He thinks manual labour is a Spanish musician. The fuckin' thicko."

Throw it in
To have sexual intercourse
from Jason in Waterford
"She's missing an eye? Fuck it, bring her over and I'll throw it into her"

Being by oneself (from Toblerone)
from tay in the convent
"When Neil Armstrong stepped onto the moon he finally felt as if he was completely on his tobler, then Buzz Aldrin hopped out and fucking wrecked the buzz."

A person from the city
from Susan in Waterford
"That stupid townie couldn't herd a pig into shite."

Promiscuous young lady (also 'Trollop', 'Floozie', 'Goer', 'Slapper')
"That Jodie Marsh is some tramp, if you kicked her in the hole a bucket of mickeys would fall out of her fanny."


Up the Rasher
Vaginal pentration
from Mars Bar in Dublin
"I gave it to her up the rasher last night lads, balls an' all."


Vinegar Strokes
The last few thrusts before a man ejaculates
"What'd ya mention Roisin Ingle for, love? I was just at the fuckin' vinegar strokes"


A disagreeable member of the fairer sex (e.g. Roisin Ingle from the Irish Times)
from Dave da Rave in Somewhere
"Leave 'em on ya fuckin' wagon!"

Willy Wonka
A condition resulting from overuse of one's penis
from Darragh in Louth
"I appear to have a rather serious case of Willy Wonka after that one last night"

Weak looking and possibly gay
"Shut up, ye windy fuck."

Wizard's Sleeve
A well used vagina (also 'Clown's Pocket')
from Joe in Dublin
"She's a fanny on her like a wizard's sleeve"

Of excellent quality
from Damo in Dublin nth
"She'd a mush like a jockey's bollocks, but she'd a wopper box on her"

Person of reduced aesthetic appearance
from Susan in Waterford
"She's a wreck alright. Got a face on her like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle"

Wrote off
Very drunk indeed
from Lisa in Derry
"I'm so getting wrote off the map tonight lads, it's not even funny."


Yer Ma
from Matt in Derry
"I'm unattractive am I? Yeah? Well your ma is a dickhead."

Young wan
A young lady (generally used in a pejorative sense)
from Andrew in Wicklow
"Jaysus, that young wan has an arse like two ferrets fighting in a bag."


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